Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
