I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
