How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
