Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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