I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
