we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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