So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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