Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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