paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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