Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
