thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
