The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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