I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
