i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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