I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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