The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize