when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
