I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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