it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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