Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You can't motorboat a personality
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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