This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize