we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
