So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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