so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
