a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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