Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
