I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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