There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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