I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
