I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
