Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
