break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
