Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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