I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
