escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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