She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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