He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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