haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't deserve a penis
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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