Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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