I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
