And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
