i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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