Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
