it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
