I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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