i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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