That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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