I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I think my moral compass just broke
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