Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
