I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
