He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
