JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
