dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize