I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
