Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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