their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The best revenge is premature balding
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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