I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
