Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
