**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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