Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
