I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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