I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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