No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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