i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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