my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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