I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize