it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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